Groundhog Day 2014

Groundhog Day is an annual holiday celebrated on February 2nd in the United States and Canada. A groundhog (Marmota monax) is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels.

According to folklore, if a groundhog emerging from its burrow on this day fails to see its shadow, it will leave the burrow, signifying that winter will soon end. If on the other hand, the groundhog sees its shadow, the groundhog will supposedly retreat into its burrow, and winter will continue for six more weeks. 

The holiday, which began as a Pennsylvania German custom in southeastern and central Pennsylvania in the 18th and 19th centuries, has its origins in ancient European weather folklore, wherein a badger or sacred bearis the prognosticator as opposed to a groundhog.

The Truth

An unsuspecting couple meets Morpheus at a valet stand. He presents them with two choices: a red key or a blue key. Should they choose wisely, they'll never look at luxury—or Kia—the same again.

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The 3 Wise Men Didn't Have a GPS 2014

There is no historical evidence, but we can be quite sure that the 3 Magi did not use a GPS to find the stable in Bethlehem...

Life of Brian

Scene 2: Three Wise Men with Bad Senses of Direction

The sketch:

holy music

BABY BRIAN COHEN: crying
WISE MAN #1: Ahem.
MANDY COHEN: Ohhh!
whump
Who are you?
WISE MAN #1: We are three wise men.

Three Wise Men 2014

In Christian tradition the Magi (pronounced /ˈmeɪdʒaɪ/; from the Greek: μάγοι, magoi, usually translated as "wise men", although it probably meant "astronomer" or "astrologer"... that is why they were following a star), also referred to as the (Three) Wise Men, (Three) Kings, or Kings from the East, are said to have visited Jesus after his birth, bearing gifts.Traditions identify a variety of different names for the Magi. In the Western Christian church they have been commonly known since the 8th century as Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar. In the Gospel of Matthew, the only one to describe the visit of the Magi, it states that they came "from the east" to worship the Christ, "born King of the Jews". Although Matthew does not mention their number, because three gifts are recorded as having been given to the Christ Child, traditionally there are thought to have been three Magi. The Magi, as the "Three Kings" or "Three Wise Men" are regular figures in traditional accounts of the nativity and in celebrations of Christmas.

New Year's Day 2014

"New Year's Day" is a song by rock band U2. It is on their 1983 album War and it was released as the album's lead single in January 1983. Written about the Polish Solidarity movement, "New Year's Day" is driven by Adam Clayton's distinctive bassline and The Edge's keyboard playing. It was the band's first UK hit single, peaking at #10 on the singles chart, #11 on the Dutch Top 40 and charting on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first time in their career. In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine placed the single at #427 on their list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time".